Welcome to Night Vale

I have never been so please to hear a man's voice before

67,406 notes

salazar:
hey everyone just wanted your opinion on something
helga:
shoot
salazar:
okay what if we get giant versions of our house symbols
rowena:
what
salazar:
like godric would have a giant lion chilling out somewhere and rowena would have a big canary
rowena:
its an eagle
salazar:
okay whatever
godric:
i dont think uh
salazar:
it cant be too hard to find a huge badger
godric:
okay dude wtf no this is ridiculous absolutely no giant house symbols
salazar:
oh um okay because i kind of uh
helga:
rowena:
godric:
salazar:
helga:
what did you do
salazar:
NOTHING

Filed under hp omg

6,052 notes

a-common-or-garden-hari:

swanjolras:

things that are currently really bothering me about the wizarding world in britain

  • the only job opportunities available are small business owner or working for the gov’t??? (i’m assuming healers work for the gov’t because, y’know, britain)
  • this is problematic
  • this is problematic because of the government of the british wizarding world
  • the only school is run by the government; the daily prophet is de facto run by the government; as mentioned above, nearly all jobs are government jobs
  • the wizarding world is not a democracy
  • the judicial branch (wizengamot?) is repeatedly shown to completely lack any kind of innocent-until-proven-guilty mentality, trial by jury of your peers does not exist, dementors are the fucking DEFINITION of cruel and unusual punishment, you have no right to an attorney, it can be presumed that you do not have the right not to incriminate yourself
  • i realize those are all standards of justice that i have quoted from the bill of rights but they are also… standards of justice that have been adopted by most free governments worldwide…
  • how the fuck is the minister of magic chosen, how are government positions acquired, no one is ever shown voting, voting is never discussed, at the beginning of book 6 fudge says the people “wanted” someone tougher i.e. scrimgeour but HOW IS THE MINISTER OF MAGIC CHOSEN??? WE JUST DON’T KNOW
  • harry never takes a civics class (muggle or wizarding), he is never taught about how his own government works
  • THESE ARE THINGS THAT ARE FUCKED UP
  • the ministry seems to run largely on a good-old-boys network, as exemplified by lucius malfoy, a former fucking death eater, who has extraordinary power and influence in the extraordinarily powerful government
  • voldemort is able to take over the british wizarding government in twoyears
  • it took hitler and mussolini and stalin decades to get the kind of power voldemort gets in twoyears while being a known war criminal and terrorist
  • there are clearly absolutely no protections or safeguards on the rights and freedoms of any wizard
  • the wizarding world is a tyranny
  • it is a fucking dystopia
  • what

About the ‘how ministers are elected’ thing, there’s a chance they aren’t, considering the real life British political system.

Filed under hp remember queuebaaa we'll always have queuebaaaaa

30,954 notes

Anonymous asked: "It's a metaphor" I have no doubt that you completely understand and stand by this statement that the act of putting an unlit cigarette in Augustus Waters' mouth is in fact a metaphor. But for some folks, we don't see it asa metaphor, we see it as situational irony, or a simple statement. Please explain how it is a metaphor.

fishingboatproceeds:

Well, a character in a novel saying that something is a metaphor is not the same thing as the author of the novel saying that it’s a metaphor. Gus’s intellectual grasp often exceeds his reach (he calls a monologue a soliloquy, and misuses quite a few of the bigger words in his vocabulary). But I do think the cigarette is a metaphor, albeit a different one for us than it is for him.

Gus’s idea is that the cigarette is a metaphor for illness, and he keeps it unlit and in his mouth as an expression of his power over illness. “You put the killing thing between your teeth but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.” Gus’s thinking here is that HE has the power. This is why he tends to use the cigarette when he’s feeling nervous or powerless. (He’s also using the most famous commercially available carcinogen to make this statement, so obviously there’s a connection there in his mind: Humans can prevent cancer by not smoking; cancer is something we can have power over; your job is not to give cancer the power to kill you; etc.) 

But of course Gus is wrong about all of this, or at least almost all of it. You may have SOME control over whether you die of cancer (you can choose not to smoke), but in most cases humans don’t have control over illness. “You don’t give it the power to do its killing” imagines more agency over illness than we actually have, because in the end much of the fault is in the stars, not in ourselves. So to us, the unlit cigarette is a metaphor for our false perception of control, and our urgent need to feel in control. It’s no coincidence, then, that when Gus’s life is spiraling out of control and he finds himself powerless before fate, he tries (and fails) to buy cigarettes.

Filed under tfios john green remember queuebaaa we'll always have queuebaaaaa